One of the concepts from Nonviolent Communication (NVC), as I understand it, is that of joyful giving and receiving.
In other words, the most fun and fulfilling way to play the game of life is to contribute to the well being of others, and receive that same giving from others.
I embraced, almost from the beginning of my NVC experience in 1999, the practice of joyful giving (i.e. "contributing to the well being of others."). This brought me great joy, and continues to fuel my mission to share NVC around the globe.
There was only one little catch: I had NOT embraced the process of joyful receiving nearly as much. I continued to diminish the value of my own needs in service to others, often in subtle ways.
For instance, when I traveled to other communities to facilitate an NVC training, I would hesitate to ask to arrive a day early or stay a day late to help me with rest and restoration. Or, I would struggle to ride the local mass transit system rather than asking to get a ride from the airport.
One time, I lugged over 100 pounds of luggage several miles to the natural foods stores, and then walked several more miles to the person's house where I was staying... all because I wanted to contribute to their need for ease! (they were shocked and visibly uncomfortable when I told them what I had done!)
In the past 10 days, I have traveled to two communities to offer NVC training (Washington, DC and Cincinnati, OH), and I have made a big stretch for me -- I asked for help all along the way, and allowed others to "serve" me and meet many of my needs.
For instance, getting rides to and from the airport and bus station; staying two extra nights at someone's house; letting people buy food for me; clean up the room and do paperwork; and so on.
It's somewhat painful allowing this to happen, due to some limiting beliefs I have living inside of me: "Jeff, you SHOULD do your own work yourself... you shouldn't impose yourself on other people. You should take responsibility for yourself; after all, YOU are the one getting paid to do this! Besides, you're just taking advantage of other people's kindness and abusing your power as the workshop presenter..."
Ugh! No wonder I've been reluctant to ask for help in the past! And no wonder every few months I struggle with burnout and exhaustion. Go figure!
My body and mind feels SO relieved to be letting in the joyful receiving -- and actually seeing how others WANT to contribute to my well being, and that I am actually participating in the creation of more joy on the planet by allowing others to do this, when they are genuinely inspired to do so.
