Lately in my own practice of NVC, I have been emphasizing mourning as a means of healing and transformation. The more deeply I delve into mourning, the more richness I am finding.And truthfully, I have found that empathy alone is often not adequate for me to move through a difficult or painful situation, no matter how clearly I identify my needs, or connect with the energy of them.
It's important for me to fully give myself up to the painful feelings that arise in relation to unmet needs... especially needs that have been chronically unmet, or long-standing unmet needs. So here is my new working definition of "mourning" in NVC language:
Mourning: Being with the feelings associated with unmet needs. Entering fully the experience of these feelings. Surrendering to the process and trusting in your heart's ability to feel pain, and yet you remaining whole in the process. In the mourning, there is healing, freedom and liberation.
