In NVC circles, we use the jackal as a symbol for language that separates and alienates from the life in ourselves and others. Myself, I cherish and adore the use of animal symbols and puppets for teaching purposes -- they create aliveness and playfulness that contribute to connection in many learning environments.
Yesterday, after a 2-hour presentation of NVC for Earthsave of Cincinnati, Ohio, one woman expressed to me her discomfort with casting the jackal as a "bad" animal, and worried that this might actually translate to real-life jackals being punished or harmed as a result.
I am grateful for her feedback, because it reminded me of how much I want to be clear when using these animal symbols that there is no such thing as "good" or "bad" when living NVC consciousness.
In my view, to suggest that Jackal communication is "bad" is to reinforce the very kind of thinking we are trying to transform when we practice NVC! ...the kind of thinking that would lead us to "jackal" ourselves whenever we are unable to muster giraffe consciousness.
Nonetheless, it can be challenging for me to be entirely free of dualistic thinking around Jackal and Giraffe consciousness (another way to say this is Life-Alienated and Life-Serving communication). Despite my continual reminders to myself, occasionally I still fall into the trap of thinking that Jackals are bad and Giraffes are good. Eeks!
Coming back to this woman's concern about wild jackals being treated in violent ways -- I share that concern, and want to continue to liberate myself from any dualistic thinking about jackals so that I can purely present these animal symbols as two ways to approach communication, with predictable consequences, rather than a right way and a wrong way.
3 comments:
I too sometimes fall into the dualistic thinking. Hearing people talk about jackals as the bearers of important information has helped me.
Jeff, I think you said something like that! Something about jackals being the key to a lot of life energy, or the portal to the life energy. When a jackal thought is getting a lot of my attention, sometimes I try to remember that the louder it is, the more life energy it can lead me to. Because if it's loud, that probably means there's a really, really heartfelt and important need underneath. And needs equal life energy. My ultimate intention is to keep finding ways to experience "the beauty of the need" in those cases.
And to give myself tons and tons of empathy when I don't succeed in that goal as quickly as I'd like to.
I'm also reminded of the idea of saying "yes" to everything. "Yes and thank you." For me, part of the spiritual practice is to do that with jackals -- to create enough spaciousness in me that I can "enjoy the jackal show," as Marshall says, be able to find the yes to life that might be hidden in their seeming negativity, and thank them for guiding me home to that divine life energy.
- post by Jean McElhaney from Sauk City, WI
I really appreciate this perspective on "jackals" -- it meets my needs for exploration, sharing and concern. I have found the use of an animal to signify this type of paradigm / thinking / speaking very useful in that I am able to feel a more automatic sense of compassion for an animal. I wrote about it once, thinking of the jackal as a hurt, frightened, snarling animal and visualizing myself slowly, gently approaching it, loving it, offering to nurture and pet it. To me, the jackal is the jackal out of fear -- it is an animalistic reaction to pain, a way of trying to protect itself. With my own inner jackal, I try to be gentle and patient, to coax it out into the open with no fear of reprimand, to help it see that its needs for safety can be more fully met through trust, love and gentlenss. There are no more reasons to growl and bite, we have learned a better way -- it is just taking the jackal a bit to get used to that idea and trust in this safety.
PS - I was sorry to miss you when you were in Cincinnati -- my daughter's third birthday was the same day or I would have certainly been there! Hoping you are well.... (Renea)
Hi Jeff...I'm one of the pictured people in your aliveness and playfulness example! When I saw that picture I was so happy to be an example of aliveness and playfulness in this world! It met my need for contribution, especially since Jean Morrison and I had just finished dancing our jackal/giraffe dance right before that picture was taken.
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