My counselor was using a process known as EMDR, and what came forward in me during that process was a desire to physically beat those men who robbed me, and furthermore hurt them so bad that they could never threaten me, or anyone else, ever again.
I also remembered reading something by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, founder of Nonviolent Communication, in response to the 9/11 attacks in New York City. I looked it up on his organization's website, and he wrote,
"To create short-term safety, we will need to protect ourselves from further threat. This may include actions taken in, what I call, the “protective use of force.” We may need to capture and imprison the perpetrators so that they cannot attack us again. And we may even have to kill some of them if we can't otherwise restrain them."
I resonated with this statement, and it gave me companionship to know that even a world-famous peacemaker would write such things.
For me, I am so committed to peaceable communities, and so dearly want all people to be able to live without fear of being attacked, killed, or otherwise oppressed, that I'm willing to consider anything to preserve safety and security... even if it means using force. Whatever force I have in my body. Including when my well-being is physically threatened, because I matter.
Now, it's important that I offer context for how I came to this -- I was in a semi-trance state, doing healing work about a very traumatic experience that I had.
Somehow, coming to the idea that I matter, and that I can use force to protect myself and preserve peace in my community... in my world... was extremely empowering.
I suspect it was part of my healing process, somehow.
Back to Dr. Rosenberg's statement quoted above -- to be fair, that paragraph was only a small part of his response letter to the 9/11 attacks, and most of the letter (as I understand it) was about the folly of retaliating with violence, and how important it is to use NVC principles when dealing with such incidents.
Nevertheless, I still honor how Marshall includes the use of force, in a protective manner (rather than punitive), as being consistent with nonviolence.
Back to me: I cannot fathom going out looking for trouble or looking for someone to attack -- it's beyond my imagination to do that. Yet, when I connect deeply with my desire for safety and well-being and survival, I find within me immense resources (physical, mental, emotional and spiritual) to create the kind of world that I want.
2 comments:
Dear Jeff, I hold you in the highest esteem and have not had at gunpoint(although otherwise) like you have, but reading this, I am finding it hard to sympahise with the idea of there being a core or conditional acceptance of the idea of violence within NVC or any view for that matter. Then where draw the line?
Sure, just this morning when I was thinking about my daughter's safety, I had very violent thoughts come up towards any theoretical person that might harm her, and this kind of response if probably human and common to most of us. But it also stems from our innate ignorance, and when thought through, this violence would not serve any purpose, would it? If harm is done, it won't be undone by retaliation. You say perhaps those individuals killed will be prevented from harming more individuals, which might be true and valid till some degree, but then in a broader sense there is bound to be anger and violence arising from those people's families, countries or gangmembers or younameit. And so the circle continues/expands.
Surely, although hard as can be in practice, the idea of nonviolence, ahimsa, as lived by the likes of Gandhi, is worthy as an ideal for us all and you and NVC practicioners alike?
These are just my first thoughts, I haven't really worked out how to express it any better yet, but thought I'd drop you a line,
best wishes always
Sylvia
Jeff and Sylvia
Thank you for your posts. I feel hopeful and relieved when I hear people reflect openly about the challenges of living non-duality in a dualistic world. I celebrate what I experience as your pursuit of honesty and integrity in your thoughts and actions, I want that for myself, also. In my judgment it is impossible to actually live a non-dual philosophy, and ironically some people will judge me for that.
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