Impact of Jackal Institutions

Today I have been thinking about the effect upon us from living and working in Jackal organizations. For those of you who might not be familiar with the term, "jackal," here is a definition I like from NVC trainer LaChelle Charde:

"In NVC we use the term jackal to refer to any type of thinking, language, or behavior that disconnects from feelings and needs. Some common forms of jackal language and thinking include: judgment (“you are a loving person”), demands (“I don’t care what you want, just do as I say!”), denial of responsibility (“I have to, it’s my job”), and deserve (“You deserve a promotion”)."

Approximately three years ago I said "goodbye" to my last jackal workplace (i.e. my job). While this particular workplace had many attributes that I appreciated, and many people who shared my values, in essence it operated like most organizations in this world -- under the domination paradigm.

Walter Wink writes extensively on this topic, and also NVC founder Marshall Rosenberg often speaks about the difference between the domination paradigm and the partnership paradigm.

I have created a chart that differentiates these two paradigms and you can see it here (PDF) or here (Word).

In any event, I see a number of my friends and colleagues who are involved with NVC attempting to live in both worlds -- holding a job in a jackal institution while also sharing NVC part-time... and the craziness this can create in our lives.

I spent the better part of 9 months nearly going insane myself -- working my day job from 9-5 four days per week, and squeezing in teaching NVC in the evenings and weekends. I became incredibly fatigued, not just due to working 60+ hours per week, but largely from attempting to navigate these two paradigms, back-and-forth, on an ongoing basis.

Recently, I led a teleclass through the NVC Academy designed to support and assist people wishing to make NVC a livelihood. I feel hopeful that I can help others establish a sustainable income stream so that they can minimize the craziness I experienced.